Responsibility. Now THAT'S something that we all have at least a passing acquaintance with. Accept it or deny it, there's always at least some measure of it peeking over our shoulders. In our struggle to grasp it or ignore it, we can often understate or overstate it's true weight and value. Yes, it is always difficult to measure responsibility to a fine point, but even getting a broad idea can help us form a way to manage it. Many dangers can lie in not assigning responsibility its' true worth - on one end it can be understated, leading to negligence and complacency (though the list does go on), whereas on the other side of the spectrum, overstating can result in obsession and anxiety (and, also, so forth).

      Responsibility can be found in every aspect of life, from the mundane washing of dirty dishes to the momentous, such as fidelity. The measure to which we apportion responsibility makes up the very being of what we are, as is the responsibility we have to keep making sure we are weighing and measuring our responsibilities appropriately. Real difficulty, however, is deciding what is an appropriate example to measure against - do we have a hero? Maybe a character from a comic book, from a television series or somebody who has lived, in reality? Do we just allow somebody else come along and tell us what to think? Do we take what the law system tells is legal or not and then assume those as our own morals and boundaries - does the law say that you are responsible for this and that within a certain criteria? (this, i suppose, follows along the lines of allowing another person to tell us what to think). Everybody in the world has a different opinion and a different collection of sources from where they form their own opinions - what any section of society might judge good or bad (based on their own standards and goals) but while saying that a person's ideas could come from anywhere is a perfectly ligitimate argument, it does not shirk the responsibility that person has to judge their responsibilities appropriately - it does not shirk the responsibilities they have to all levels of authority(be it to themselves, their friends, family, society, etc.). Everybody is always being measured against some standard but what is THE standard? What is the BEST or IDEAL standard? More on that later.

      Now, one way to sterilise the concept and forming of responsibilities is judging cause and consequence (which develops further on into deed and reward or crime and punishment.). When judging if an action should occur, thought will go into whether benefit will be gained from it - this usually starts on a personal level but then spreads into the individual's concept of their place in society. Regardless ofage, gender or any other denomination, no conscious action will be undertaken by any individual unless there is initially a greater perceived gain to them, than a loss or problem. The perceived overall consequence to performing the contemplated action, that is subsequently performed, is, therefore, reward. For example, this could begin from a baby learning its' cries bring food or comfort (which shows a true reward for the baby) to a rapist forcing themselves on an unsuspecting victim and gaining some sexual satisfaction (which also shows the reward intended for the rapist). Now, i'm not being idiotic and likening a baby's need for nutrition to sexual deviation and such obscenities, but trying to encourage some thought on, well, thought and the responsibilities each party has. The first thought that comes to mind is that you can't compare the two cases for the main reason that one (the rapist) would be considered to be the more physically, emotionally, socially and generally devloped than the other (the baby). It would be said that as the rapist is more developed in these areas then they also have the responibilities that such development entails, such as a social responsibility - saying that rape is wrong as it is taking what is not yours to have, that it would cause harm to someone or something other than yourself (in this case, the victim) and for many more reasons. The rapist is in the position to consider the consequences and knock-on effects in all other aspects of life and existence as they are functionally able to do so. The baby is considered to not be in the position to consider the effects its' crying might have on the care-giver - it does not yet have the ability to contemplate on a functional level that it might be causing harm to anyone else (for example, a sleep-deprived mother or father). So from this, we can conclude that once we have the ability to reason, once we have the ability to decide, once we have the ability to function and fully interact with a society, then we are responsible for our actions within that society. Along the same lines, we will then be responsible for how we recognise, deal with and ascribe value to our thoughts, but that is for another time.

 

  One thing that never ceases to amaze me (especially today, now that i am on an obstetrics and gynaecology rotation, and was previously on paediatrics), is how casually responsibility is shirked as there is "an easy way out" - this can apply to many areas and things that i've either done myself or come across in all aspects of life, but i think is especially poigniant when it comes to sexual health (which is probably where the example of the rapist came along). It's amazing how easy it is to think that it's ok to have sex with a non-marital partner (before, during or after marriage) because modern contraception is generally 99% effective (from condoms to various hormone drugs) and that there is, therefore, only 1 in 100 chances that the contraception will fail. It seems that if the reward of pleasure can be gained with a much smaller risk of (cynically put) "leaving any evidence" or responsibility (e.g. parenthood), then it is all the more acceptable. Has nobody really thought of the psychological consequences of this? Married, or even premanent, couples that have been involved with more than that one person feel a colossal amount of guilt for: 1) not having "saved themselves" to experience and explore such a wonderful and pleasurable thing with that person, 2) having memories or flashbacks of previous sexual partners or experiences with others, and then it is not an exclusive event at that time for that person - and i don't even mean memories of bad experiences, 3) possibly giving their partner an infection of some sort that they caught from somebody else. Now, almost all people who are in love and dedicated to their marital partner (or, as i said, even with their partner at the time), will experience at least two of those three points. I am fortunate enough to have not experienced point No. 3, but i still know that i have at least some measure of guilt in the other two (which i have repented and been forgiven for). In fact, guilt itself, is just an emotion that we experience when we know we have done or are doing something wrong. I have also, well, sinned, caused grief/problems, done wrong, done things i am not proud of (however you wish to put it), in many aspects of life, and though i am only 21 years old (honest!), i know and feel strongly that, especially because of this, i am not, and never will be in any position to judge another person for their actions. All i really want is to warn people and encourage them to think on the consequences of their actions - like i never really did. It is easy, yes, to make decisions in retrospect, but if anyone could learn from my poor example, then it will have been worth this many-word rant/contemplation. We all fall short, in one way or another, but that is all the more reason to support each other, to care for each other - no matter how harshly we are treated - deserved and even undeserved. It is all the more reason to not judge or pre-judge anyone.  To all of you who i haven't contacted, but have slighted against, used, misused and even just upset - i really am very sorry and beg your forgiveness. It really is strange to lay bear your innermost secrets to the world.

 

        John Lennon wrote that peace and understanding (even utopia) would be found if all people lived for the day, but i don't believe that. I believe that peace will only be found when all of society is honest with themselves, and each individual fully accepts responsibility for all of their thoughts and actions. I believe that when each person does this and finds themselves lacking, then they will not only be able to forgive other people and be rid of their upsets and bitterness, but they will be able to seek forgiveness for themselves. I believe that is when they will find God, through Jesus Christ and be forgiven. I believe that is when their ears and hearts will hear God calling them home. I believe that Jesus, the Son of God, gave up His earthly life in exchange for our forgiveness and reconciliation with God. I believe that only when we are reunited with God, can we find peace. And i believe that can all happen by simply taking responsibility.

 

Thank you for your time, everyone.

 

God bless you all.

 

Richard Nelmes.

 

P.S.

My apologies if this is found to be lacking in any way, but i was in a small hurry.

 

God bless,

 

RN

Well, at the moment, i'd just like to take the moment to rain praises down on Him Above. Well, i suppose ill be jetting them up rather than down, but...... Anyway, thanks to the Holy Trinity for everything!!! It's all marvellous!!

 

So, why this impersonation of Benny Hinn, you ask? Well, ill tell you (but also remembering that im not offering more blessings for the more money im given, although i wouldnt mind being given any money...). This weekend, including today, has been unutterably fantastic!!! All of this, in some way or another, revolves around music.

 

1,   My guitar playing has improved rather dramatically and surprisingly, so now, i can pretty much play the solos to "The Final Countdown", "Sweet Child o Mine", "November Rain", and "Civil War". My apologies for the whole guns n roses thing, but slash rocks!!! If the philosophy of karma were true, then that would explain why my fingers hurt - but, being as Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and Nobody can aproach God, except through Him - then ill just put my hurting fingers down to having practiced beyond my limits and achieving what, i believe, He wants me to achieve. If only i was capable of applying this to my academics....

 

2,    My guitar is shiny as i purchased, and used, a guitar cleaning kit.

 

3,    On Sunday, i met an old friend that i hadnt seen for about 2 years, since the National Youth Choir of Wales, Summer 2003 course, and we just talked music, music and more music until we had to part ways - it was a joy!

 

4,    In my spare time (when revision just became too much), i have cleaned, as best i can, the audio samples from the band's recording session at Christmas, and have comiled them into the first draft of a <3min demo track, featuring 5 songs. It is a bit of an overture, really.

 

5,     I love my fiancee!! and that's all there is to it!

 

6,    For once, im not all worked up about some exams - and at the moment, i truly fell close to the Lord  - feeling the joy of life and love, repentant for my transgressions, but eager to move on and do better with my life. Jesus Saves!!! Hoorah!!!

 

 

Anyway, i pray that all readers of this blog may experience the joy and relationships that i have.

 

God bless you all,

 

Richard

Hello, everyone, (or no one - does anyone read these?),

 

                    My apologies that i have not written in here for a while, but i must apologise further that, again, this will not be a happy blog.

                   This morning, attending ward rounds as usual, i (along with real medical staff) was presented with a patient. This patient was not a well man - he had terminal cancer, but was in with a horribly bad chest infection - everybody knew that he was not going to live very long - mainly due to the cancer, rather than the infection. When i say not long, i mean that his time left was medicall unredictable - mabe a couple of days, maybe a couple of years. In the thought of the possibilities of the worst ever happening, folk in similar conditions usually opt for a legal paper that orders any potential well-wishers to not recuscitate them. This man did not have one of those. Yes, he was immobilised by his illness and, silently, in much pain, but he was still obviously aware of the world. As is usual, the consultant who presides the ward round invited us lowly students to touch his fingers - to feel how truly cold they were (a symptom of his condition). I only realised after that i was the last person to hold his hand and the last to smile at him. When i did smile and look at him, he seemed grateful, somehow, but that soon faded as he drifted into sleep.

          So, we moved onto the next patient, and then the next. Then, as my my attention wandered, i realised that a nurse at that gentleman's bed was calling for a doctor. Soon, the whole resuscitation team assembled to prepare the man for resuscitation - his body was shutting down. Soon, the consultant caught wind of what was going on and joined the team. Moments later, they had all stopped what they were doing as the consultant was explaining to them that he was a terminal patient in pain and that he was going to pass soon, anyway. Everyone dispersed and went about their duties as though nothing had happened. The consultant was heard to say "It was the kindest thing that could have happened to him."

       I must admit that i was shocked - horrified even. All of the fuss was over in less than half a minute, but still - nobody would try any further. What is this world that we live in that we judge when people may or may not die? Have we really drifted this far from God, that we assume that which is not ours to have? Who are we to judge who lives and dies? We can only see if it was a person's appointed time to leave this world by trying and failing in the resuscitation. Is it just my stubborn nature that is kicking up a fuss? I don't believe so, but i'm sure that it has something to do with it. I bet you that if you asked any doctor who made the decision to let somebody die in that manner, why that doctor did not try, how many would say that they were just doing their job? How many would say that they acted in the patient's best interests, because that is what their job has taught them is how things can be? If the average doctor is paid £25 an hour, subsequently, 42p a minute, did that doctor who was "just doing his job" value a person's life at 21p? How is death in any patient, or person's, best interests? I believe, firmly, that there is an afterlife and Divine Judgement. Surely it's not in the patient's best interests to be left to die, face their judgement, and be found lacking acceptance and acknowledgement from their Saviour? Surely leaving a person to die and suffer eternal torment is not in their best interests? Conversely, the patient might have found a place in Heaven, then it might have been in their best interests, but was it in the best interest of the doctor to have an unnecessary and recouperable death marked on their soul, that they are not concerned about? Maybe death was deemed in the patient's best interests because in these days of theological relativity, all roads are said to lead to heaven. That is not only wrong, but is also blasphemy and heresy.

       I do not mean anything violen or ominous about this statement, but the world needs to realise the true value of life, if it is to ever avoid self-annihilation. The world needs to remember love. The world needs to remember what the Lord went through so that we might live. The world needs to open its' eyes, ears and hearts to the Truth and its' only hope of Salvation.

       Everybody needs another chance to accept Christ as their Saviour, or they have no hope.

 

 

God Bless you all,

 

Richard

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a long-forgotten (on my behalf) blog entry.

 

Over my time of becoming familiar with the realm of blogs and the dimensions of personal spaces (by observation, of course, rather than participation), i have come to the conclusion that these pages have achieved a status of the near-sacred. I am coming to think this as, in most blogs that i have had the pleasure to purvey (and stick my nose in), the author quite often divulges their souls for all to read and to grow familiar to. Gone are the days of the private journal or diary, that once written in, would be bound away from prying eyes, and eventually rediscovered in the future, often by the (supposedly) older and wiser author - to become a time of reminiscing and reflection. Those of you that are reading this may be beginning to wonder what point i am trying to strive at. In honesty, i am not striving at any point - this is part of my increasingly prevalent incompletely formed statements. If i had thought this out into completion, theni have forgotten it - but if that's the case, then i've forgotten that i've forgotten it. It is, therefore, more likely that i had not completedthe thought in the first place.

 

These days, my thoughts seemed to have decided to avoid the whole verbalisation, and have just remained as perceptible emotions and impulses of "true", "false" and "possibly" - probably due to my current insomnia, i have rendered my mind incapable of pretty much anything beyond the vocalisation of a nonchalant grunt, and maybe the odd wookie impersonation. GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

 

 

Yet again, there is no point to this blogging, so i am beginning to wonder if this is Blog, Gratia Blogis , which the  avid cinema goer, or classics scholar among you will realise is a play on words of Ars, Gratia Artis - Art for art's sake.

 

So, on that rather curious note, i shall depart through the gates of the Bill (a.k.a. internet explorer) and begone to wallow in The Pit of Appauling Puns (TM), which, unfortunately, never made it on to Flash Gordon, but i am assured was located next to the Pit of Flames.

 

Right then,

 

 God bless you all,

 

 

Richard